No need to say goodbye.

"It started out as a feeling which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder till it was a battle cry

I’ll come back when you call me, no need to say goodbye

Just because everything’s changing doesn’t mean it’s never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are as you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light

You’ll come back when it’s over, no need to say goodbye
You’ll come back when it’s over, no need to say goodbye

Now we’re back to the beginning, it’s just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can’t feel it too, doesn’t mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger till they’re before your eyes

You’ll come back when they call you, no need to say goodbye
You’ll come back when they call you, no need to say goodbye

---------------------------------------




I really love this scene- the lyrics to the song in particular. I'm close to crying each time I watch it, and I think it's because this song, and in a way the story of Narnia, reflects the hope that everyone on earth longs for.

"It stared out as a feeling, which than grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
which then turned into a quiet word"

This part reminds me of Lucy. Aslan came to her quietly, by the river and in her dream, which reminded her of hope- the hope he had promised before. It came so quietly, that whisper, that some people didn't catch it.

I think sometimes God speaks to us like that, and sometimes like Peter and the others we miss it. We're waiting for some huge immediate victory that we are more inclined to be persuaded by the glamour of the White Witch and so fail to hear the whipser of Aslan (or God) - who really has already won.

"And then that word grew louder and louder, till it was a battle cry".

Wow. Aslan did come roaring in, just not how they expected it...and how much more victorious it was than when they trusted in themselves to win.

At first I was confused by Aslan, when he kept saying, "Things never happen the same way twice". I thought to myself, "Is that his excuse for all those Narnians being killed? He didn't want to things the same way twice?"

But then I realized he was right...in a way. Things won't happen the same way twice- like him rushing in and saving the day from the very begining.

But there is one thing that always happens the same way- more than twice. That is God's love. And sovereignty. This next line really reflects that I think:

"Just because everything's changing doesn't mean it's never been this way before".

Yes, things are changing. But God is not- not his love or his promises.

"Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light
You'll come back when it's over, no need to say goodbye. You'll come back when it's over."

Christ will return- victoriously. And he is the light on the dark horizon.

"Now we're back to the beginning, it's just a feeling and no one knows yet. But just because they can't feel it too, doesn't mean that you have to forget."

Sometimes we seem to be "back at the begining", maybe we don't feel all the close to God as we used to. Maybe it seems like he isn't there.

But he is. And just because we may not "feel it", doesn't mean he isn't there. After all, his love for us is not based on how we feel at a certain moment, it's based on who we are in Christ.

"Let your memories grow stronger and stronger,
till they're before your eyes"

We do have a hope that is certain, and it's found in Christ. Let them constantly be in our minds till they grow so strong they are before our eyes- so vivid that we can be filled with peace, because we know that God is in control.

And you know what's cool? God is so much more amazing than Aslan. His promises are so much broader, so much more beautiful. He didn't just die for one boy but for all the boys and girls and men and women that betrayed him. Like me. And you.

That's why I love this scene, I think. It sings of hope, and it makes me long even more for when Christ will return.

He'll come back, when it's over....no need to say goodbye.

Because in the big story of the world, there is a light at the end. There is a hope to cling to. Maybe that's what Sam Gamgee (or Tolkien) meant when he said,

"It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered, full of darkness and danger they were. Sometimes you didn’t want to know the end, because how could the end be happy. How could the world go back to the way it was when there’s so much bad that had happened? But in the end it’s only a passing thing, this shadow; even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines, it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why."

I want to be like Sam. Even when the world seems to be crashing down around him, he remembers that there is a hope to cling to- that things will get better. That's the hope I see in Lucy's eyes as she looks back at the train station- she doesn't see him, but she can smile. She remembers the promise in his eyes, and she knows he'll call her back.


No need to say goodbye.

After some thinking.....

I've made a few decisions.

Decision #1: declining a position at the Cookie Shop.
Decision #2: deciding not to take a class at Wake Tech.
Decision #3: Decided to write this blog post.


There are so many good things in this world, so many fantastic opportunities, that it's quite hard to know what is actually best. I realized that right now my passion is art, and taking a class or a job would take time away from that passion, as well as from music and reading and gardening....and I think I take my time for granted.

Decision #4: To be intentionally and decidedly productive.

I've decided that since I'm not actually going to school, I'm still going to study diligently. Primarily in art, but I am also going to make a list of a few books to read. Particulartly on theology or biographies, but I also want to study the book of Collosians, reading through it and hearing what others have to say on it, and altogether soaking it in. If you want to read it with me, please do so! We can blog about it.

I also want to spend more time with friends. In October, I am leaving the country. For good. Just kidding....but it's for a year, which is "for good" for awhile! So I really want to build up my connections here at home this summer and the few months I have in fall. Why? Because I love my friends, but I also want to have a strong prayer team for me when I leave. There will be lots of suprises and difficulties when I get there, and your support will be invaluable!! Seriously. I'm going to miss everybody, but I'll definately be blogging from the Old City!

Another thing I'm determined to do this summer is blog more regularly. I know you don't believe me, but really, you should. :)

So now I'll leave you with some beautiful words written by Anne Steel. It's a song redone by Jars of Clay that I listened to while jogging the other day, and it really helps me to refocus. Sometimes I get so cauught up with my own plans here on earth, that I get discouraged...but God has a bigger plan, and it definately involves grace! When I remember his promises, what Christ accomplished for me at the cross, than to him "I breathe my souls desires", and I know he's got it under control.

JESUS, I LIFT MY EYES
traditional words by Anne Steele (alt. by Jars of Clay)/music by Jars of Clay

When sins and fears prevailing rise
And fainting hope almost expires
Jesus to Thee I lift my eyes
To Thee I breathe my soul's desires

Are You not mine, my living Lord
And can my hope, my comfort die
Fixed on the everlasting word
That word which built the earth and sky

Jesus, I lift my eyes
To Thee I breathe my soul's desires
Jesus, I lift my eyes
To Thee I lift my eyes

Here let my faith unshaken dwell
Immovable the promise stands
Not all the powers of earth or hell
Can e'er dissolve the sacred bands

Jesus to Thee I lift my eyes
Jesus, I lift my eyes
To Thee I breathe my soul's desires
Jesus, I lift my eyes
To Thee I lift my eyes

Here oh my soul
Thy trust repose
If Jesus is forever mine
Not death itself that last of foes
Can break a union so divine

Jesus, I lift my eyes
To Thee I breathe my soul's desires
Jesus, I lift my eyes
To Thee I breathe my soul's desires

"It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered, full of darkness and danger they were. Sometimes you didn’t want to know the end, because how could the end be happy. How could the world go back to the way it was when there’s so much bad that had happened? But in the end it’s only a passing thing, this shadow; even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines, it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why."

-Samwise Gamgee

Bob Dylan: Mr. Tambourine Man

One reason why I posted that video of that song is because of the words. I especially love the fourth verse, "yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free"! There's something really deep and beautiful about it that flows so calmly with the simple music.

Mr. Tambourine Man
Bob Dylan

Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.

1.
Though I know that evenin's empire has returned into sand,
Vanished from my hand,
Left me blindly here to stand but still not sleeping.
My weariness amazes me, I'm branded on my feet,
I have no one to meet
And the ancient empty street's too dead for dreaming.

Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.

2.
Take me on a trip upon your magic swirlin' ship,
My senses have been stripped,
my hands can't feel to grip,
My toes too numb to step, wait only for my boot heels
To be wanderin'.
I'm ready to go anywhere, I'm ready for to fade
Into my own parade, cast your dancing spell my way,
I promise to go under it.

Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.

3.
Though you might hear laughin', spinnin', swingin' madly across the sun,
It's not aimed at anyone, it's just escapin' on the run
And but for the sky there are no fences facin'.
And if you hear vague traces of skippin' reels of rhyme
To your tambourine in time, it's just a ragged clown behind,
I wouldn't pay it any mind, it's just a shadow you're
Seein' that he's chasing.

Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.

4.
Then take me disappearin' through the smoke rings of my mind,
Down the foggy ruins of time, far past the frozen leaves,
The haunted, frightened trees, out to the windy beach,
Far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow.
Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free,
Silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands,
With all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves,
Let me forget about today until tomorrow.

Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.

Bob Dylan - Mr. Tambourine Man

Ahhh....thankyou, Bob Dylan! This song makes me happy.

I want a date life.

badly.

You're probably thinking, "What on earth has gotten into Michelle!?!?!?" But that's okay, because I totally think that alot. Don't worry, though, my title doesn't mean what you may think it means.

I realized how terribly lacking I am and how much I want a date life after reading a few chapters in the book, "I became a Christian and all I got was this Lousy T-Shirt"*.

You see, the author of this book (Vince Antonucci) writes about when his wife and he first started dating and got married. They had something special- they always wanted to be together. They never got tired of eachother. After work they'd play tennis together and go out to eat together and talk for hours and hours.

After they got married people would ask, "Are you two making sure you have a date night? You have to have a weekly date night!" and they would just laugh behind their backs, because they had a date life.

Then, as time went on and new demands from work and children arose, something happed. He said, "The sense of adventure we once has was being snuffed out by a passionless daily routine. It was all just....disappointing."

After a few years, they realizes things weren't going to "just get better" and they decided to get counseling. The counselor told them that they needed to start doing the things they used to do together- when they had a date life. They needed to make whatever changes they had to so they could start spending quality time together- face to face. It had to be face-to-face.

So, they commited to a weekly date night- focusing on things that would bring them face-to-face. At first, it was awkward, but it gradually gained momentum and soon they once again had a date life.

So what was the point of all this? Vince Antonucci related it the Christian life. He said,

"The Christian life is about living life with Jesus. Living life with Jesus is about abiding in him. To abide means to live within. And so abiding is about living in the presence of: it's about depending on, it's about trusting in, it's about communicating with. To live life with Jesus, I must . . . get my face in front of his face."

He and his wife realized that, "We needed to start having a date night as the foundation upon which we built our date life. A date life was our goal, but a date night was a necessary part of establishing that.

What we're after with God is a life of abiding, a continual state of abiding. But to achieve that I need a concentrated period of abiding at some point in my day."


I want a date life...with Jesus. I want to be continually abiding in him. But more often I'm not! And I think alot of that is due to the fact that I don't always have an established time everday to spend time with Jesus in his word. I've never like the idea of a "quiet time", because it just seems so legalistic, as something to "check off" before getting on with my day, and sometimes it seems like prayer isn't much use. But I think that setting aside a concentrated time of abiding each day is a crucial foundation on which to establish that continual abiding.

Just like the date night was not the goal, it was what they needed to plan in order to get back their date life.

I want a date life. I want to get into the habbit of spending time with Jesus each day, face-to-face. I want to have such a relationship with God that when people remind me to spend time with God each day, I'd just smile, because I spend my entire life with God.

I want a date life. Don't you?





*I want to credit Vince Antonucci with this post, because even when I wasn't quoting him I was paraphrasing him or something! If you ever get a chance to read his book, do so! Seriously.

copy cat art and a dog that is smart.

So last night, at around 9:30, I sat down and began to paint. I've always loved the impressionists, but I can never manage to pull it off myself. I thought perhaps copying another impressionist's work would help me develop my own style. So............

The originial copy of this painting was done by Robert Vonnoh who lived from 1858-1933 and called this picture, "Beside the River". Unfortunately, I couldn't find the original anywhere online. With a oil paints and a sheet of watercolor paper, here is what I came up with:


I painted for 5 hours straight and, when it was finished, I finally went to bed at 2:30am. I just couldn't stop until it was done! By that time, I was covered nearly head to food with smudges of color....there's still a smudge of blue that just won't come off my elbow!

After I took a picture of it and uploaded it, I played around with the colors and thought it looked lovely in sepia tones:



So that's my copy cat art, and now for a dog that is smart. Unfortunately, I don't have one, because my dog apparantly doesn't meet all the qaulifications I set several years ago. These qualifications I set down in poem....a rather ridiculous poem, really. I think perhaps my former idea of smart dog was rather like Mr. Darcy's idea of an accomplished woman.....or not.

A Dog that is Smart
Michelle Bradburn, 2004

A dog that is smart,

Will know not to bark;
When neighbors walk
right past the house.

He won't beg at the table.
And he should be able;
To know to leave lone the shoe;
but never to let by the mouse.

A dog with a brain
Should know in the rain;
When going outside
give no fuss.

He won't chew up the hat
or chase way the cat.
And whenever it's dry;
He'll know not to kick up the dust.

A dog with much knowledge,
Should learn lots in college,
And always to do well
On his math.

He'll be good at division
and have a good vision.
And he should certainly
know how to laugh.